Because a day or so later we got this e-mail from her:
I, too, enjoyed meeting with you and hearing your story. I appreciated your openness and honesty and my heart hurts as I have to tell you that I cannot be your midwife. I have been thinking and praying about you and your unusual relationship situation ever since we got together. I cannot repect the way in which you are choosing to live which will most certainly affect the closeness of our midwife-client relationship and keep me from being able to serve you well with my whole heart. I cannot tell you how much this grieves me.
I have asked D. to try to provide you with some alternatives, so she will be expecting to hear from you.
May the Lord bless you and your family as you walk through the journey of this pregnancy and birth.
Now... I've already put this on my own journal, so I've already been through the particulars of all this. I am fully aware that she did us a favor by telling us to get lost, that if she had decided to work with us that it would indeed have affected the relationship. What angers me is that she told us many times that she felt her being a midwife was a divine calling by God, that the Lord had guided her to this so she could help the women of her community, but when she was presented with something new, different, and outside her normal world-view, instead of opening her mind she kicked us to the curb. Apparently that's What Jesus Would Do: refuse care to those who didn't meet the proper standards of living. What she did was analogous to walking right past a guy who's been kicked to the ground, while saying "Well... I don't respect the way he lives his life, so I'm not going to help him up. But I'm not kicking him so really I'm doing him a favor."
*sigh* This whole thing doesn't change a DAMN thing about my feelings on poly, the choices my wife and I have made, or one ounce of the love I feel for our girlfriend. I just wish I'd had a heads up that in South Carolina, even the freaky hippie midwives are annoyingly close minded, judgmental, and conservative.
X-Posted to Poly...